What IS the authentic self? Most of us don’t realize that we unconsciously create a self in order to cope with our early family environment. We do more of what our parents like and less of what they don’t, all in the name of love and survival. We might become a helper if our parent is overwhelmed. We might dumb it down if a parent is threatened by our intelligence. We may not know what we prefer or need if no one ever gave us a choice. We might believe we’re worthless if parents are neglectful or abusive. The possible adaptations to our parents’ behaviors are endless.
How do we uncover our real self? One path is to observe yourself. What patterns do you notice? What repetitive thoughts do you hear inside your mind? You can ask yourself, “Do I feel real or natural or am I trying to appear a certain way?” First, just have the courage to observe and wonder. Be willing to look and see, listen and hear. You don’t have to change anything. The more you see, the more you will shift without even trying. The unconscious will become conscious and eventually choice will appear.
INQUIRY:
Pick a particular time or activity to pay attention to yourself. Can you listen to your thoughts whenever you’re in the shower or taking a walk or playing a game on your phone? Can you watch how you behave when you’re with family or friends or acquaintances? If you decide to learn more about yourself it’s incredibly important to bring kindness with you. Don’t judge yourself! We all have adaptations. We needed them! Make yours conscious and authenticity or whatever blocks it will appear.